Namibia travel journey

revisited this travel journey I wrote when I was in Niambia. some were not complete. i will leave them as they are .

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Vancouver to London to Johannesburg to Windhoek

24 hrs day time, three planes, enough to make me sick of chicken
After all these, finally get to Namibia. First morNing in Namibia, birds singing and busy building nests, don't see that too often anymore.

First time in africa, first time in south atmosphere, first time travelling solo.

Enjoy it when it lasts.

A french lady from swiss land, booked a trip a few years ago with her husband but he died before the trip. Then she booked with her friend for this year and he also died. She decided to come to the trip on her own. Life is too short to enjoy.

Oryx meat

Aug 30, 2015 etotha national park
Open game drive, saw lions, elephants, zebra, giraffes, Oryx, Rhino, oschrid, lots of Springboks, different kinds of birds.
Giraffes have pretty big and pure eyes, elephants are stupid cute, lions are the kings of safari.

Aug 31, 2015
Saw some pretty red chest birds and a white head bird caught delicious insects for breakfast before we leave etosha park, very happy with that.
There are some clouds today, they all look like animals to me now 😄. Animal mood

Sep 1
Pelican, dolphins, whale, seals
Heard lions roaring, Atlantic ocean, saw millions of stars,

Sep 2
从swoamp出发去walvis bay 的路上，一边是沙漠，一边是大西洋 还看到了Flamingo, 脑袋呆在沼泽里，两条细长的腿忙着刨土找吃的，就像是在跳芭蕾舞，可爱至极。

Sep 3
Sossusvlei dunes, sesriem canyon
Climbed up the breathtaking Dune 45, it was so windy and i felt like i could be blew away anytime, got sand all over my face, but i did it, keep encouraging myself, set a goal and go for it.
I read a story about a lady could not finish swimming across some ocean because it was cloudy and she could not see where she is going. She gave up about half a mile away from yhe destination. I know exactly how she feels the moment i saw where my destination is - on top of the Dune, slowly but surely, moving ahead.

Milky way, have never seen so many stars in my life, tons and tons stars, amazing beautiful, first time seeing my own Scorpio stars, head, two claws, body with a long tail.
Got three stones from Canyon, one with layers of granite in it, harry says bring it home, will bring good luck.

Sep 4
On the way to fish river Canyon
Cliff taught me some basic photography techniques, shutter speed, aperture, ISO. Three items allow different amout of light to come through, therefore bringing out various focuses.

Cook island
Bolivia

Sep 5
Canoeing
The two kind couples came and tied my boat to theirs and it made my canoeing much easier.

Sep 6
Someone with a life dream is very attractive.

Sep 8
You have no reason not to be confident. You ve completed University degree in four years, have a good job, very patient, flew half a world to travel on your own, not that many ppl have done that. Be proud of yourself be confident with yourself. Nothing is perfect and it's ok to be not perfect.

Sep 9
Experiment, fail, learn, repeat

感恩节 想外公了

外公去世以后，就好象生命的一部分消失了，再也补不上了。外公给了我对动物和植物的热爱。外公教会了我下象棋。我想你了，外公。

老爸

2015.09.08.
老爸，
今天是培训的第一天，老师讲到人都是戴着面具的。让我想到一件小时候发生过的事，我一直耿耿于怀，但你应该不记得了，有一次你喝多了，应该是你接管经贸学校以后没多久，因为你是当上校长以后才开始喝好多好多酒的，你回到家，要看电视，我正在做作业，觉得电视很烦，就把电视给关了，也许你正好心情也不是很好，上来就打了我一巴掌。我当时没有哭，只是从那以后便记住了唯一一次被打。

再后来就是你和老妈的吵架打架，老妈生病时你的冷漠，你们的争执，让我不明白为什么这么不开心的两个人还要在一起。是因为在一起开心更多吗？本来我觉得我应该是从你那里学到男人在家庭的角色，丈夫，父亲，可是我看到是老妈上班以后下班做饭，你上班以后下班很晚才回到家，而且大部分时候是喝醉了倒头就睡，有时候还会吐的一塌糊涂。可能钱是挣的多了，但我觉得我们一家三个人每个人都带着一个面具，在努力的向别人展示我们的“幸福”。

其实我小时候脾气很倔，别人说什么，我有时候偏反着来，是因为习惯了大家都顺着我吧。

我也不太清楚我想写什么，只想和你说，谢谢老爸小时候牵着我走路，载着我去上学，辛苦挣钱养家，我很怀念那些时光。一个好父亲就是一直会为了家承担责任。


女儿 卓卓

凌乱

今天又凌乱了一下，一个前辈同事说他在28岁的时候像我这样可以自己lead project，说的很羡慕，后来我想我工作一年以后其实已经有自己的项目做，而且是公司里的most efficient designer, 这就是为什么当年conference唯一的一个名额给了我，是我自己贱，在那个时候离开了tdc，同时也miss了这个机会。但现在回想起来，lead project好像没有很exciting，也没有觉得很proud，最开心的时候其实是去工地考察，辛苦了一天以后吃一顿牛排然后倒头就睡，倒觉得那样很充实。还有就好象是在有新问题出来的时候，能够以最快的时间去适应，学到新的技术，这也让我觉得很充实。

小游记

其实这份信是写给我的一个朋友的，写着写着觉得好感动，就把它po上来。似乎这次是带有感情的，之前写文章好像更多的是记事为主。

我从南非安全回来啦，这次旅行非常棒，导游和司机都很专业，懂得很多当地的文化，一路上也很照顾我。这次去南非圆了一个我看狮子王的梦，在namibia 沙漠露营，晚上看着从未见过的满天星和银河感动到差点哭，早上醒来帐篷被大风整整挪了一米多搞得我哭笑不得，顶着大风一步一步爬上了dune，觉得自己好像什么都不用怕了。在Etosha national park和狮子的零距离接触，看大象小象一家人的mud bath，嬉闹成群，感觉他们就像是生活在天堂。在南非看到了happy feet的south African 企鹅，懒洋洋的躺在大西洋海岸晒太阳。回来的路上又去伦敦逛了一圈，和Namibia截然相反，一个实历史悠久的权力之都，一个是远离喧嚣的大自然，各有特色。

照片见 https://www.flickr.com/gp/26386463@N05/ZfWt4X

定了圣诞节回国的机票了，这次买的最便宜，打完折才$990，开心，哈哈。省下来的钱可以去旅游啦，哈哈。

my first full 18-hole course!

did a full 18 hole course for the first time today! so excited and tired. lots of walking but fun. learnt how to use driver, i'm so used to iron 8 since that's the only club i have and i use that for driving range a lot. most of the balls were consistently going to the right. need to turn my wrist more.

overall, it was a good four hr play.

what do i like about myself

i had a 45 mins consultation with Amebe today, she was very patient and a good listener. i actually enjoyed talking to her and i felt like i had so much to talk about. i just want to tell her everything and ask her to offer one simple solution about all the problems i have! haha, so greedy.

she suggested to write down one thing i like about myself or i am proud of myself everyday. by talking to her, i realized i need validation, i'm happy when i see progress. i am comparing myself to other ppl and that's reason i am not happy sometimes. it's better to compare to myself, which i have been doing for a while.

im proud of learning something new today at work,
im proud of getting to know ppl through sports

what's your life goal?

i want to have someone to travel with around the world. but my friend told me if i reply on another person, i will get disappointed.
i want to have a happy family, someone that i will be very comfortable with, whatever i do, he will think it's part of me. whatever i say, he understands that i do not mean to hurt. wow, that must takes lots of communications in the beginning. so the willingness to stay together is very important.

i should think of something that is not dependent on other ppl too much, so i can enjoy it whenever, like cooking, photography, sports, etc. talking to myself is sometimes fun,

smile, the worst is yet to come.

you are beautiful. stay curious, stay foolish.

好害怕 会一个人老去

突然好害怕会一个人老去
一个人看电影
一个人吃饭
一个人拼拼图
一个人听音乐

会慢慢习惯一个人做所有的事情吧
习惯了在别人面前撑起微笑，不管是什么事情，不管自己是否开心，是漠然，是不关心，是冷漠

如果真的有那么一个人会陪我走一辈子，那么请你快点出现吧，我想要和你多呆几分钟。我不想要再浪费时间找你等你了。

真没用啊，这么脆弱，这么笨蛋

life is a journey

life is a journey
people come, people go

i shall grab the one i like and not let them go.

appreciate the life, appreciate what i have


周日听闻阿姨讲她过去的风云事迹，心生敬佩，她是永远把客户利益放在第一位，不顾自己的利益健康，甚至于牺牲自己的家庭为代价，事业心之强，越有困难，她越觉得有意思。社交能力之强，说话很有水平，出世之道，令人佩服。但又不求回报，只要稍对她好一些，她都会感激在心。事业上的成就对她来说是最大的肯定。对小孩有愧疚感，所以就更拼命的工作，想要用金钱去弥补对孩子们的亏欠。但事实上，没有感情的时候，拿钱去补，似乎是件需要很多很多倍的钱才可以补上一点点。我以后有孩子了，一定要家庭工作两头照顾，失去其中一个都不好。

2015年情人节

又是一年情人节，对于单身的我来说，唯一的区别似乎就是最近有很多人在晒幸福，看着让人羡慕嫉妒恨啊，于是决定没有情人，自己要对自己好一点。今天还是蛮充实的一天，早上做了好吃的鸡蛋饼，这次做的很薄，像crepe，跑步跑的小腿抽筋，于是改走路，很惊喜的发现樱花开了，后来在kits又看到了一大棵樱花树，太美了。。。没想到2月份樱花已经开了，太暖和了今年。

中午跑去Kibune Sushi吃的，开了半个小时，停车也不是很方便。chef叫远藤秀峰, very kind and sweet chef,大方的让我试象拔蚌，本来就是想去试试这家店的寿司，结果让我尝到了很新鲜的食材。今天有幸坐在吧台和师傅聊了会天，一个hard working和热爱功夫和cooking的远藤师傅。
店不大，但很干净，就在kits beach边上，夏天可以在附近散散步。


吃完午饭晕晕乎乎的开车去了电影院，本来想看 the theory of everything,跑到电影院却已sold out， 只好改看imitation game, 去之前喝了点酒，前面20分钟睡过去了, 主要是讲的英国如何解开纳粹的密码和同性恋的，娓娓道来，细细品味。以前英国认为同性恋违法，而且作为一种病来治，不少同性恋者收到了非常不公平的对待。

愿自己每天都过得充实快乐。

1月27日 外公走了

外公走了， 在意料之中也在意料之外。昨天老妈还在说她和外公说她要去开会了，要等她开会回来。没想到今天中午说没就没了。
生命真是脆弱。人死后的世界会是什么样呢？应该会比外公生病的时候要轻松些吧。肺癌晚期,一个经常听到的词,最终也到了我的亲人身体里。
最担心的还是外婆和老妈，最伤心的人,real heart breaking,这是一种压抑的心痛，让人无法窒息的心痛。愿她们可以想开一点。I will be with you.
走好，外公。我会努力过好每一天的。

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今天外公火化了，下次再回国，就要去给外公扫墓了。相隔两个世界。只愿外公在另一个世界过得舒服。

2014年小结

圣诞节回国之前本来想写一篇2014年小结的，结果临走晚上在淘宝上逛啊逛啊，时间就这样过去了，拖了一个月，赶紧把这个去年的事情补上。

回国第二天看见躺在病床上挂着氧气完全没有精神的外公，身边还有刚吐出来挂着血丝的痰，看着就让人心疼。不过回去之前老妈就一直在和我说外公的病情，所以好像心理已经有准备。

没过几天就生病了，可能是天气冷再加上心情也不太好，吃了一大堆的药，感觉把这一辈子没吃的要都吃了。生病真是痛苦，连吃饭都没胃口。对于一个吃货来说，最痛苦的事莫过于一大堆好吃的放在面前，但确不敢吃。

我想，当一个人有心理准备去面对死亡的时候，死亡就不那么恐怖了吧。未知才是最可怕的。家里人还没有很明确的告诉外公他的具体病情，但我想他自己应该是知道自己的身体的。我只愿他能少点痛苦，最后可以安祥的走。 外公不善言辞，但心地十分善良，行动派。外公你还有什么最后的心愿么？

2014年过得很快，发生了很多事情，爱情友情亲情都有。不过爱情没了，幸好其他两个都还在。珍惜眼前。15年首要任务是要找男朋友，要有潜力发展成老公的男朋友。其次是要锻炼身体。再要多看点书。就这三个2015年最重要的事情。努力！